Even though this has nothing to do with class this video made me laugh very hard. My husband is a truck driver so I see the irony. Watch it if you want a good snicker.
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3579595/9892927
On second thought sometimes I feel like the wrecker while working on assignments.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Don't you roll your eyes at me!
If I had a dime for every time my mother yelled, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it" I would not need to be in a Masters course seeking a better career. Nonverbal cues can often make or break a conversation. How we stand, how we look, our tone of voice and whether or not we cross our arms when listening to someone all influence how our message is perceived. Something as simple as the way we dress could make the difference when communicating with someone.
I called my good friend yesterday and asked her to help me fire my babysitter. After I told her what happened and why I wanted to fire the girl I asked "do I seem mean?" Her response, "hun, you always seem mean." I find that how I present myself sometimes seems forward, prideful and mean even though that is not the intention I sought. I have been told such on a number of occasions by family. "By functioning as peripheral cues, nonverbal behaviors may inform judgments through affective responses" (Kopacz, 6). Where my nonverbal messges seem to send personal relationships packing it helps in my work. By being perceived as forceful and tenacious I have scared other agents into talking their own clients down on a homes price. I find myself either loved or hated in the office. At home I am always having to watch my tone with my children and my husband. I am use to "ordering" things done when I am at work and that tone does not go over well domestically.
My biggest frustration is when nonverbal cues are not translated in virtual communication. I often receive emails from coworkers that are written as they would have been spoken and without the nonverbal cues of tone, posture, appearance and gaze it is often hard to gauge a meaning from the message.
So maybe I should start demanding a dime when I hear my mother yell at me for my nonverbal communication. I would be richer all around.
Kopacz, M. (2006). Nonverbal communication as a persuasion tool: Current status and future directions. Rocky Mountain Communication Review, 3(1), 1-19.
I called my good friend yesterday and asked her to help me fire my babysitter. After I told her what happened and why I wanted to fire the girl I asked "do I seem mean?" Her response, "hun, you always seem mean." I find that how I present myself sometimes seems forward, prideful and mean even though that is not the intention I sought. I have been told such on a number of occasions by family. "By functioning as peripheral cues, nonverbal behaviors may inform judgments through affective responses" (Kopacz, 6). Where my nonverbal messges seem to send personal relationships packing it helps in my work. By being perceived as forceful and tenacious I have scared other agents into talking their own clients down on a homes price. I find myself either loved or hated in the office. At home I am always having to watch my tone with my children and my husband. I am use to "ordering" things done when I am at work and that tone does not go over well domestically.
My biggest frustration is when nonverbal cues are not translated in virtual communication. I often receive emails from coworkers that are written as they would have been spoken and without the nonverbal cues of tone, posture, appearance and gaze it is often hard to gauge a meaning from the message.
So maybe I should start demanding a dime when I hear my mother yell at me for my nonverbal communication. I would be richer all around.
Kopacz, M. (2006). Nonverbal communication as a persuasion tool: Current status and future directions. Rocky Mountain Communication Review, 3(1), 1-19.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
My $50,000 carrot
I have been motivated, or so my boss thinks. My boss has placed yet another carrot in front of all the agents on our team. It may be a large, juicy, $50,000 carrot, but it is still a carrot.
Real estate agents, at least this real estate agent, is motivated by money. "To make a donkey move, one must put a carrot in front of him or dab him with a stick from behind." (Shah and Shah p. 3) Brokers, builders and other agents often dangle more and more money in front of agents in the hopes of getting us to sell more of their inventory. The problem with this idea is that we cannot sell what we cannot get people financed for. (In many cases, we cannot sell what appraises for under the asking price.) Sadly most agents and brokers only use manipulation to achieve results and call it motivation.
People are motivated by a number of reasons. Internal and external forces all contribute to why people do what they do. The best motivation however does not come from an external force, but from an inner drive. The best agents are those people who are driven by an inner need to achieve something in their career. Very few people who are in it for the money last past a recession.
This same idea can be applied to convincing someone to buy or sell a house. By moving past the obvious financial gains when purchasing a home, an agent can hit a cord with a client that will motivate them to purchase a home even when the odds look daunting. I realize even more now how important it is to create a personal relationship with my clients so that when their motivation seems to be waning I can remind them what started them on this journey in the first place.
As for that carrot. It will me mine.
Shah, K. & Shah, P. (n.d.) Motivation. Retrieved July 10, 2007, from
Real estate agents, at least this real estate agent, is motivated by money. "To make a donkey move, one must put a carrot in front of him or dab him with a stick from behind." (Shah and Shah p. 3) Brokers, builders and other agents often dangle more and more money in front of agents in the hopes of getting us to sell more of their inventory. The problem with this idea is that we cannot sell what we cannot get people financed for. (In many cases, we cannot sell what appraises for under the asking price.) Sadly most agents and brokers only use manipulation to achieve results and call it motivation.
People are motivated by a number of reasons. Internal and external forces all contribute to why people do what they do. The best motivation however does not come from an external force, but from an inner drive. The best agents are those people who are driven by an inner need to achieve something in their career. Very few people who are in it for the money last past a recession.
This same idea can be applied to convincing someone to buy or sell a house. By moving past the obvious financial gains when purchasing a home, an agent can hit a cord with a client that will motivate them to purchase a home even when the odds look daunting. I realize even more now how important it is to create a personal relationship with my clients so that when their motivation seems to be waning I can remind them what started them on this journey in the first place.
As for that carrot. It will me mine.
Shah, K. & Shah, P. (n.d.) Motivation. Retrieved July 10, 2007, from
Sunday, October 5, 2008
"You never listen to me"
I was sitting across the table with a homeowner last winter. There was a period of silence as they waited for me to start my listing presentation. I smiled and asked, "tell me why you think your home did not sell last spring." The silence lengthened. I had caught them off guard. The wife, after glancing at her husband responded, "I don't think she ever listened to what we wanted."
I do not like to talk at people. I would prefer to talk with people. Being a real estate agent I have had to become a listener. Selling or buying a home is a huge decision for anyone. I often have people sitting in my office for hours crying, laughing, talking, or just venting. More often than not a difficult home seller just simply wants to be heard. Many agents miss the mark when it comes to listening to their clients. They only hear complaints instead of looking for the concerns behind them. Rogers and Farsons in their article Active Listening address the ability of the listener to put themselves in the place of the speaker and actively seek to understand where the speaker is relating from as a means of effectively listening to the communicated message. (Rogers, 3).
The points made in Jianying Lu's article, The Listening Style Inventory (LSI) as an Instrument
for Improving Listening Skill are very relevant to many of the agents I work with. Listening is a two point process and it is dependent on how well the speaker can encode the message and how effective a listener is at decoding the message and responding to the communication (Lu, 2).
After my "presentation" was over I was given the listing. After the house sold they told me they choose me over other agents because I did not give them a presentation. I asked them what they wanted from an agent, why they wanted to sell, what their goals were, and together we came up with a plan to market the home. Not giving a formal presentation is unheard of and has not always been a positive decision in my career. But I believe that listening to a person is more important then telling them what needs to be done.
I am not the perfect listener and I can often drift away from the conversation mentally. Reading these articles served to remind me that I have to be actively engaged in what people are telling me. I need to seek to understand the communication instead of simply "hearing" it.
Lu, Jianying. (2005). The Listening Style Inventory (LSI) as an Instrument for Improving Listening Skill Sino-US English Teaching, 2 (5), 45-50.
Rogers, Carl; Farson, Richard (1987). Active Listening. R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M. Cohen (eds) Communicating in Business Today. D.C. Heath & Company.
I do not like to talk at people. I would prefer to talk with people. Being a real estate agent I have had to become a listener. Selling or buying a home is a huge decision for anyone. I often have people sitting in my office for hours crying, laughing, talking, or just venting. More often than not a difficult home seller just simply wants to be heard. Many agents miss the mark when it comes to listening to their clients. They only hear complaints instead of looking for the concerns behind them. Rogers and Farsons in their article Active Listening address the ability of the listener to put themselves in the place of the speaker and actively seek to understand where the speaker is relating from as a means of effectively listening to the communicated message. (Rogers, 3).
The points made in Jianying Lu's article, The Listening Style Inventory (LSI) as an Instrument
for Improving Listening Skill are very relevant to many of the agents I work with. Listening is a two point process and it is dependent on how well the speaker can encode the message and how effective a listener is at decoding the message and responding to the communication (Lu, 2).
After my "presentation" was over I was given the listing. After the house sold they told me they choose me over other agents because I did not give them a presentation. I asked them what they wanted from an agent, why they wanted to sell, what their goals were, and together we came up with a plan to market the home. Not giving a formal presentation is unheard of and has not always been a positive decision in my career. But I believe that listening to a person is more important then telling them what needs to be done.
I am not the perfect listener and I can often drift away from the conversation mentally. Reading these articles served to remind me that I have to be actively engaged in what people are telling me. I need to seek to understand the communication instead of simply "hearing" it.
Lu, Jianying. (2005). The Listening Style Inventory (LSI) as an Instrument for Improving Listening Skill Sino-US English Teaching, 2 (5), 45-50.
Rogers, Carl; Farson, Richard (1987). Active Listening. R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M. Cohen (eds) Communicating in Business Today. D.C. Heath & Company.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Here Kitty Kitty
I found this story on the Associated Press this afternoon. I laughed. Here I thought my new cat was fat. Imagine having this cat sitting on your porch.
CASPER, Wyo. - A police officer didn't think much of a call to shoo off a bothersome "kitty cat" at a home in Casper, Wyo. Then the officer arrived at the home of Beverly Hood. It was no ordinary domestic feline — but a male mountain lion weighing 80 to 90 pounds.
Officer Mike Ableman says he ran for cover inside Hood's home when he saw the cougar.
Hood says she was inside when she first saw the mountain lion lying on her porch Monday. Hood says the lion hissed at her, but she wasn't scared.
She called 911, animal control and the Wyoming Game and Fish Department. Hood reported that she had a bothersome "big cat." A dispatcher told Ableman that it was a house cat.
A game warden tranquilized the mountain lion and the animal was relocated.
CASPER, Wyo. - A police officer didn't think much of a call to shoo off a bothersome "kitty cat" at a home in Casper, Wyo. Then the officer arrived at the home of Beverly Hood. It was no ordinary domestic feline — but a male mountain lion weighing 80 to 90 pounds.
Officer Mike Ableman says he ran for cover inside Hood's home when he saw the cougar.
Hood says she was inside when she first saw the mountain lion lying on her porch Monday. Hood says the lion hissed at her, but she wasn't scared.
She called 911, animal control and the Wyoming Game and Fish Department. Hood reported that she had a bothersome "big cat." A dispatcher told Ableman that it was a house cat.
A game warden tranquilized the mountain lion and the animal was relocated.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Proper Email Etiquette
Letter writing is an art, and it is quickly becoming a lost art. But has it really been lost or has it simply changed mediums? We are living in the age of virtual and instant communication. Proper communication rules apply to email just as they apply to formal written communication in a business environment.
All to often I have encountered poor communication in emails from otherwise intelligent persons. In particular “verbal nastiness” (Summerfield, 2) that is demeaning to the reader is often the biggest reason for conflict stemming from email. Email emboldens us to write things we would not say in person. When I have been hired to give training seminars on business communication the biggest complaint by far is the comments sent through email messages. I find it hard to convey to these people that email should be no different than verbal communication. I find it frustrating and I feel that teaching email etiquette should be a priority in High schools and undergraduate programs.
Summerfield, Morgan (2008). How to Use Proper Email Etiquette for Business Communication. Retrieved September 29, 2008, Web site: www.associatedcontent.com/article/56188/how_to_use_proper_email_etiquette_for.html
All to often I have encountered poor communication in emails from otherwise intelligent persons. In particular “verbal nastiness” (Summerfield, 2) that is demeaning to the reader is often the biggest reason for conflict stemming from email. Email emboldens us to write things we would not say in person. When I have been hired to give training seminars on business communication the biggest complaint by far is the comments sent through email messages. I find it hard to convey to these people that email should be no different than verbal communication. I find it frustrating and I feel that teaching email etiquette should be a priority in High schools and undergraduate programs.
Summerfield, Morgan (2008). How to Use Proper Email Etiquette for Business Communication. Retrieved September 29, 2008, Web site: www.associatedcontent.com/article/56188/how_to_use_proper_email_etiquette_for.html
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
