Don't you roll your eyes at me!

If I had a dime for every time my mother yelled, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it" I would not need to be in a Masters course seeking a better career. Nonverbal cues can often make or break a conversation. How we stand, how we look, our tone of voice and whether or not we cross our arms when listening to someone all influence how our message is perceived. Something as simple as the way we dress could make the difference when communicating with someone.

I called my good friend yesterday and asked her to help me fire my babysitter. After I told her what happened and why I wanted to fire the girl I asked "do I seem mean?" Her response, "hun, you always seem mean." I find that how I present myself sometimes seems forward, prideful and mean even though that is not the intention I sought. I have been told such on a number of occasions by family. "By functioning as peripheral cues, nonverbal behaviors may inform judgments through affective responses" (Kopacz, 6). Where my nonverbal messges seem to send personal relationships packing it helps in my work. By being perceived as forceful and tenacious I have scared other agents into talking their own clients down on a homes price. I find myself either loved or hated in the office. At home I am always having to watch my tone with my children and my husband. I am use to "ordering" things done when I am at work and that tone does not go over well domestically.

My biggest frustration is when nonverbal cues are not translated in virtual communication. I often receive emails from coworkers that are written as they would have been spoken and without the nonverbal cues of tone, posture, appearance and gaze it is often hard to gauge a meaning from the message.

So maybe I should start demanding a dime when I hear my mother yell at me for my nonverbal communication. I would be richer all around.

Kopacz, M. (2006). Nonverbal communication as a persuasion tool: Current status and future directions. Rocky Mountain Communication Review, 3(1), 1-19.